Words That Should Exist

Because I should get paid just to think.

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Caveoon

cave-oon

noun

1. A trendy genre of music that is slowly replacing “chillwave”, defining characteristics of which are sounds like a group of people chanting in a cave mixed with typical sounds from cartoons

2. Music of this genre.

synonyms

hipster music

WUT?! How do you not like Youth Lagoon? He is like the new Animal Collective, taking caveoon to another level!

Googorithm

goog-o-rithm

noun

1. The Google algorithm that SEOs constantly refer to when trying to explain almost anything about why your site isn’t ranking yet/quickly/correctly/today, etc.

2. A proprietary formula created and refined by Google engineers, comprised of over 100 factors designed to help index and rank websites’ content within Google search engine results pages.

synonyms

Google’s magic formula

Q. Why isn’t my site #1 on this 100,000 search volume keyword yet when it just launched yesterday?

A. Well, the Googorithm needs time to accurately crawl your site’s content and place it appropriately in the index.

Smartyr

smar-tyr

noun

1. You, when you realize that your boss, colleague, partner, friend, classmate, professor, etc. said something incorrect but you decide not to correct them because you know what they meant. Eventually, someone else excitedly corrects the person, minutes after you’ve already moved on.

synonyms 

not being a dick

Earlier today in class, Professor Smith said it was February 5, but I decided to be the smartyr because we all know it’s March.

Juoffee

ju-off-ee

noun

1. a currently-being-prototyped product that is the perfect mix of half juice, half coffee for all your morning beverage needs.

2. a cup of this drink

synonyms

perfection in a cup

Oh man, I really wanna try that place’s juoffee. I heard they have Cranberry/Ethiopian blends this week. We gotta go!